Road Trip to Ibadan.

I like vacationing. The sights to see, the sleep to catch up on, the foods to eat, pictures to take people to relate with etcetera. The travelling though is what I usually don’t fancy. In fact, I loathe travelling. That was why as we prepared as a family to go to this amazing place my dad had reserved for us at Ibadan, I mentally braced myself up for the journey ahead. I packed packets of chewing gum to help with my motion sickness as I packed the clothes I was going to use there. I wasn’t about to start hurling with all that fancy make up I was going to wear that day.

Finally the day came, Friday. The beginning of the public holiday that marked the Salah celebration for our Muslim friends. At about 8:30 am, we left the house. Immediately I got in to the car, I dozed off. It was going to be a long journey so I decided that I might as well make up for the shortage of sleep that resulted from me sleeping a little bit later than 12 am and waking up by 5:30 that same day. I can’t remember for how long I slept but when I woke up I was expecting us to be getting close to Ibadan. Well that was yet to happen. We were still on the Ibadan Express way, a little bit after Daluwon and some distance before the Redeem camp. The road was busy. Cars were moving bumper to bumper in traffic.

The traffic was moving but at a rather slow pace. I was just thinking about that when I felt a sharp sting in my lower abdomen followed by rumbles that shook like thunder. I adjusted myself in my seat and hoped it was just hunger not nature taking its course.

 The cars continued crawling and moving. The tummy ache was getting worse by the minute. Chewing the gum in my mouth harder didn’t help.

Finally we passed the Redeem Camp gate. My brother decided he wanted to pee. So Mr. Vincent, the driver stopped and he and my dad got down and walked to a wide gutter beside the road and took a piss along with the other men and boys doing the same in that gutter.

While we waited in the car, my mum and I that is, I complained about the discomfort I was feeling in my stomach. It had gotten worse and there was no filling station in sight. I asked how far it was till we got to Ibadan itself and I was told we still had a long way to go. Eventually, I decided to get down to see if the men who were sitting in front of a shack across the gutter had a toilet or knew where I could find one.

My mum went with me and we crossed that wide gutter by walking across this sturdy piece of plank placed on it. We asked and they said it was at the back of the telecoms mast that stood beside their shack that I could ease myself. So we walked to the back and saw this guy who we tried asking the same question. He just walked away and kept going further. My mum decided we should just stay where we were and I should ease myself. She covered me by standing in front of me while I pulled down my trouser and undies and took the squatting position to poo. Lo and behold I stayed there for some minutes and nothing came out. I tried every trick in the book just to see if anything would come out and then pee came out. Kept trying and yet nothing. Zilch. Nada. I was getting frustrated.

Now that I think about it was quite funny. At the moment though, it had been very annoying. It didn’t even help that my mum was laughing. I decided that what I was doing was an effort in futility. So I stood up, pulled up my pants and shook the sand off my feet. My mum and I then took the long walk back to the car and continued the journey.