Toke Makinwa's 'On Becoming' - 5 lessons I learnt from the Buzz and the Saga Surrounding the Book

Hi guys. It has been a while. A really long one at that. I mean for the duration of my absence Trump won the US elections (somehow I always knew that most Americans had issues upstairs), Lilian Usoro and Ubi Franklin's marriage is in trouble and a bit more recently, our dear aunty Toke has become an author. So quite a lot has happened.

I know Toke's book has been released a while back and i didn't want to say anything about it in addition to the fact that I barely had any time but right now somehow my big mouth can not keep shut. The buzz on social media was mad and finally, finally......wait for it.. She admitted she was bleaching. You know that's my favorite part in all these sage and gist that was unfolding as the nook got released. She finally admitted she was bleaching. To all those out there I might have mentioned it to, tada! in your face bitches. Anyways back to what this post is about.

Although I haven't quite read  the book, I have seen excerpts and those sneak peaks are enough to let me know that this book is not my kind of book so I probably won't read it. I can't stand to see a woman who had seen the signs from the beginning and yet chose to remain in a toxic relationship then she comes out to be the "hero" by telling her story. That's bull crap. But there are some lessons I picked through reading those excerpts and the buzz surrounding the release of the book:

1. If you are going to write and it must blow, you must be popular. It doesn't matter what you are doing o. Just be popular. Aunty Toke's book blew because she was popular. No one would have cared about what happened to her and her ex husband if she wasn't some celebrity in her own right. There are a lot of women out there who have gone through worse yet if they wrote a book it wouldn't even get recognition to get published. Bottom line is you must shine if your book is to blow.

2. If you get treated badly by your partner, you might just as well cash out on it. I repeat cash out on it. Do you know how much is entering aunty Toke's account at this moment just because she gathering pity from people? I read an article that said something like the shoki she was dancing at the Experience 11 was not just because of the "praise" and the author is probably right. She is smiling to the bank every day and can afford a new crystal collar for coco or whatever her dog's name is. So my dear sisters (and brothers of course), you can't just be telling your heartbreaking love story for free to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Tell it for a price and cash out BIG on it. But to do that number one must come in handy sha. I hope you know.

3. Never admit to bleaching unless you have someone to blame it on. Your best bet is that your ex that seemed to have a preference for light skinned women. Aunty Toke thinks we are all small children. How can you say you bleached because of a man? It just shows lack of self esteem from the very beginning. Anyways but just in case any of you out there want to start bleaching, you have an excuse now. Yeah I know, you are welcome.

4. If your partner gets engaged to you after dating for a decade and postpones the wedding three times, don't worry, you'd still get married (and probably get divorced 2 years after then you'd publish a book about how they were cruel to you some months after). Aunty Toke saw tell tale signs that she was obviously not gonna keep him interested for long yet she was excited when he finally fixed a date. Worst mistake she ever made in the name of love. Your partner doesn't keep postponing the wedding like that for three times for inconsequential reasons, then one he finally decides to do the ceremony and you are busy rejoicing. My sister (or brother) you are setting yourself up for heart ache. But still, it's still a lesson right?

5. The last but the only real lesson to learn from this saga is you should stay true to yourself and love yourself FIRST. The key word is on first. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself. For you to love yourself, you have to define yourself, find yourself, know what your strengths and weaknesses are, work on them, deal with any lingering issues you might have. You have to teach yourself that no matter what, as long as the sensitivities of others aren't being ignored to a reasonable extent, you would always put yourself first. Only then can you say you want to love someone. Aunty Toke had issues she didn't deal with by herself and was probably thinking staying with Maje would solve them. Sadly the scum saw her weaknesses and used it against her. This is the one lesson I want to keep reminding myself and other women as well as men out there. No one should make you feel like dirt. They can only do that if you allow them. So do not allow anyone put you down.